By Kabelo Mollo
Matters of the heart are complex at the best of times, because as an organ, the heart pumps blood. But in this abstract quasi reality we have forced it in to, it determines feelings and and and… As it is people seem to struggle with romantic relationships and then all of a sudden “BAM” there comes a person that makes you feel a certain way. To make it worse somebody went and commercialised this all and created a ridiculously successful thing called Valentine’s day. To men around the world the challenge was laid bare, “You are now competing in the boyfriend Olympics”.
It’s a very funny day old St. Valentine’s day allegedly named after the patron Saint of love. It’s funny because seemingly it is the day men show women how romantic they can be. The expectations placed at the doorsteps of men are big. And to be fair, with patriarchy being what it is, why shouldn’t men have to bear the brunt of the beast? We ask for so much from women, bear children, make sure we don’t get pregnant before we’re ready, be the primary caregiver to the child, forego your body for said progeny, and so much more.
It actually can’t be asking for too much for us to take a day in which we remind them just how much we love them. We should actually be buying our lovers flowers regularly or at least acknowledging their “love languages” frequently.
Dates should be constant and romance overarching. Personally, I’m all for Valentine’s day. I just don’t love the competitive part of it. Why do I need to outdo what Tsepo, Johannes, and Karabo from Twitter are doing? Besides, I’ve been on the platform long enough to know we’re not all earning our money the same way. And that’s all I’ll say on that.
On to more important issues. Let me wax lyrical for a little bit on my valentine. The most beautiful woman (inside & out) that man could ask for. My wife remains my best mate. It’s unbelievable to me that we’ve only been together five years. It feels like I’ve known her my whole life. Savage Garden has a song called “I knew I loved before I met you”, in a sense describing meeting one’s soulmate.
I always loved that song growing up and then when I met my wife I knew almost instantly that I’d met the person from that song. I told some of my closest confidantes quite early on in our courtship that we’d be married one day. Some laughed believing her to be beyond my league, while others quickly agreed saying it was obvious. I’m a man of my word…
We have challenges like every other couple. We come from different backgrounds and see many things differently but we always remember that we’re in this journey together. We try to stay open and honest with one another even when its uncomfortable and in general we stay accountable to each other. Someone asked why I’m so devout in posting her as my crush every Wednesday suggesting I may be “trying too hard” while somebody else urged to me stop as it was putting them under pressure.
I responded to both in the same way, assuring them it was neither to put folks under pressure nor to score any points. It was but a small gesture of appreciation of the love of my life. It did make me chuckle to myself that those posts might actually cause consternation for anybody. Be that as it may, life is a box of chocolates…
To everyone who celebrated the day, I hope it was beautiful. To those diametrically opposed to the day, I hope it gets better one day. Happy Valentine’s.
