I have been in a reflective mood since Monday when I entered the fourth decade of my life. In particular, I have been looking at the last decade, and trying to make sense of it. What are the lessons, what are the key take-aways, and what is the overall outcome?
My 30s were a great time. I began them quite downcast because I didn’t have a Porsche nor a million bucks in the bank. I didn’t have a steady girlfriend nor even prospects of one. I was living what was called “my best life” with barely a care in the world. It was so taxing, in retrospect, I can’t help but chuckle at the craziness of it all.
I had zero structure and only a vague idea of what it was I was trying to do. Joburg’s bright lights were blinding me from a couple of realities. I needed stability and purpose in my life. I needed to focus on a brighter future. But Jozi’s numerous options and endless recreational opportunities were a constant albatross I just couldn’t shake. Be that as it may, I don’t regret any of it, because it shaped what would happen later on.
By the time I met my now wife in my early 30s I knew I was quite ready to settle down and start a family. I was quite sure I was done with the streets and the bright lights.
Channelling my energies towards building rather than destruction became paramount. From my mid twenties my school friends had begun settling down and starting their lives. I thought it was crazy, but finally my time had come. And so, my early to mid thirties were dominated by shaping my family’s future. Trying to ensure readiness for the lifelong journey of happiness and familial bliss. My wife was a breath of fresh air, and much needed comfort.
My latter thirties have been dominated by two JKs. One who burst on the scene with an energy and passion that let me know he was a real fire ball! The other JK left us with such short notice and little warning that it would not be overstating it to say, we’re only just recovering from his exit. Life is a set of contradictions, and I’m learning there’s no use believing in absolutes in adulthood. My feelings about Bloemfontein are completely mixed, my son Joseph Kaibe Mollo II was born there, but barely a year later, his grandfather Joseph Kaibe Mollo took his final rest. How does one square up such opposite extremes on the emotional spectrum?
And so, we get to present day. Where the realities are now the realities. An older brother tells me Victor Hugo says, “40 is the old age of youth”. I find that quote particularly apt. I don’t feel like an old man yet, but I also know, I’m no longer a young person. Even my outlook is through the prism of a raft of experiences. Moreover, there’s the sprinkling of grey all over as a steady reminder that youth has come and gone. Last Sunday at touch rugby I dummied a pass, and “exploded” through a gap. Ten years ago, I’d he had the acceleration and genuine pace to sail over the try line without any problems. On the day in question, not only did it strike me that I wasn’t going to make it over, but my opponents also knew it, and no one was surprised when I was caught on the try line prior to dotting the ball down. The rudest awakening that my best athletic days have also alluded me.
Be all of that as it may, the truth is, I’m happy, I’m healthy and I’m optimistic. Of the 30s were about teaching me life lessons then the 40s are about executing. Legacy projects as well as those big moves that will translate in to comfort. If the network will determine the net worth, then it’s time to truly sweat the assets.
Thank you to my parents for having a laat lammetjie, thank you to my siblings who have been nothing but loving and supportive. I owe a huge debt of gratitude to my wife who has been a kind and generous partner and also birthed me a photocopy of myself! My love to my nieces and nephews, my friends and extended family who continue to support and love me in spite of my shortcomings. This next decade will have its peaks and troughs, but at least there’s a level of preparedness from them.
We move…
