By Kabelo Mollo
A year ago on Sunday, in front of a handful of family members and in Sesotho I took my wedding vows. The Covid pandemic changed our lives in so many different ways, but what it failed to do is stop love reigning!
To this end my then girlfriend and I got engaged on December 20th during peak “Delta wave” before eventually tying the knot in April the following year. Fortunately, there was no was wave about then. It is significant that I took my vows in Sesotho and that I married a Mosotho woman, because I would not have imagined, even in my wildest dreams, either of those variables being reality.
They say you make plans and the higher power (or whatever is deciding our destinies) merely shrugs and laughs. Be that as it may, I was very proud to have done my vows in my parents’ mother tongue and of course was deeply, deeply honoured to marry the most beautiful, intelligent, kind, loving Mosotho woman there has ever been.
When I was around 23/24 in the midst of what I imagined to be a best life I decided there was no chance I would ever marry a Mosotho woman. First, I reasoned to myself I am related to the bulk them. Second, why would I subject my poor offspring to only one cultural identity when it would surely be more fun to have a potpourri of heritage. My children would be international men/women of mystery I thought to myself, and that was it, my mind was made up. I didn’t even bother to communicate this decision to anybody but figured it was gospel and went about trying to find a life partner that would satisfy the aforementioned quotient. It is fair to say I searched high and low in my quest to find a life partner. Looked in many nooks and crevices, trying to eliminate as many possibilities as one could. Within reason of course!
When I met my now wife of one year. I knew her from Instagram posts and had previously worked on a project with her albeit briefly. She had piqued my curiosity with not only her looks, but her no nonsense business acumen. She had been very decisive in our brief interaction and I found that terribly alluring. Of course at the time marriage was the furthest thing from my mind, but when I met her the second time, and started to really get to know her I began to rethink the vow I had taken to myself. Suddenly a Mosotho wife didn’t seem like such a bad idea. And wow, how great would it be to have children who identified solely withMoshoeshoe’s kingdom. My whole life had flipped upside down because of a elegant, fun loving lady. She smiled with her whole face and lit up any room she entered. She was equal parts fun and dedicated. Her values matched mine, and she could get on with just about anybody. She was well spoken, well read but never afraid to ask if she didn’t know something. She was chillingly perfect from my purview.
We had become an item for a brief period when it struck me like a lightening bolt. I was in love with her. She was the first girl I’d ever really imagined doing forever with. Surprisingly, that didn’t scare me. If anything I suddenly found even greater comfort in her and our relationship. I was on a trip to my beloved Johannesburg and rather than take an extra day enjoying the hubbub of the bright lights big city, I was anxious to return to the dimly lit streets of Maseru so I could spend time with my lady. It was a brand new sensation and yet, there was something so natural about the whole thing. It was as though I had found my true North.
We’ve been married one awesome year now and are parents to a beautiful baby boy who gives me a toothy grin every morning. Parenting is undoubtedly the best thing we’ve ever done. Doing it together is a bonus. I tell anybody who will listen that we haven’t had a post honeymoon experience. The whole thing has been a honeymoon. Furthermore, we made a decision when we entered our union that we weren’t crazy in love. We were and remain totally, cerebrally sanely in love. We have decided on forever because after much thought and processing we see a partnership that can go on and on. The reassuring presence that is my wife is like a cheat code in this entrepreneurship journey, and I’m so grateful for her.
To my baby love, in closing, happy first anniversary, sorry for writing a whole column about this, but I figured this needed to be immortalised in black and I and white. I love loving You, and always Will!
